In the future we'll all be gay
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
