She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I want is dick and wine.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
