4 words: hood of his car
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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