Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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