: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
