my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
