He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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