I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
