its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
