The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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