Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
