Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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