Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
