The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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