I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
