hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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