Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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