Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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