yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I didn't notice because vodka
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
