why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
