I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize