Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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