kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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