The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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