My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
