Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
