I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
