I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
