he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
