Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
