I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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