I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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