There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
