Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
