normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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