No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He better not be in your backpack
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
