I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
