my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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