You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
