i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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