My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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