Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
