I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
