its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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