I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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