its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sex in the backyard? Check.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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