as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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