Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
