there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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