dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
