I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
