I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
