dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The cops high fived after they tackled you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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